How to create an inner center of strength
If I go back to my teens, a really difficult and a little neurotic time in my life, I can feel how there was a certainty in me that from that moment forward I could learn to grow.
How to relate to the world, to my parents, to my mind. Even though everything was upside down there was a quality of HOPE in me. “I could not do anything with the past but I could grow and learn from there.”
It is very important to be of YOUR SIDE, to BE FOR YOU, it is an internal quality and you need to want to be better. “I know I’m wrong but I do not want to continue like this”.
If you do not have this inner certainty or this quality of hope within you, you can always create it. It is not positive thinking, it is not denying your situation or how you feel inside:
It is developing internal resources to deal with really difficult things. YOU CAN CHOOSE, choose at every moment, small things like pick up a cup or a glass, pepper instead of salt.
The brain is physical and our nervous system that has needed 600 million years to evolve has a function that is: represent information, such as understanding the information of a red or green traffic light. Information moves through our nervous system; This smells bad … I’m leaving.
That is the basis for our experience. We see, we hear things. These experiences are made of information. They exist but it is non-tangible information.
You can use it because there are neurological processes below. There are layers below. You can use your mind to change your brain since repetitive patterns have neuronal activity and this activity leaves a trace.
We can use our mind to modify it. So, “You have the power within yourself, every minute of every day, to use your mind to change your brain. To change your mind for the better ” In our modern life it is very important to cultivate our strength and inner resistance to face our life, the outside world.
We all have problems, difficulties, stress, etc … because modern life is very challenging. The resistance where does it come from? What happens with our day to day? With the really difficult things in your day to day?
It would be great to look in the backpack that we all have behind us and find: happiness, care and empathy for other human beings … How to cultivate important things like these?
Through focusing attention and sustaining experience in something that is useful to you; you can enter your nervous system and more and more you feel that these qualities are with you, wherever you go. How do you cultivate those positive things inside you?
Looking at those experiences that are useful to you, that are authentic. Take a breath or 2 to experience it in your body, be with it and focus on what is profitable for you. That stop and breathe, be with it makes it enter your nervous system. “Neural process of the installation”.
And you have it with you wherever you go. Have you heard about the “Negativity Bias” in our brain? If you want to cultivate the good within you, you need to experience it and internalize it. We need to change the information in our body.
Our ancestors needed 2 things; get food and protect yourself to avoid predators. If you did not get food you could get it the next day but if you did not protect yourself against the predators and they caught you … it’s over!
This is why a negative interaction in a relationship has much more impact than several positive ones. What can we do? Feel the negativity, let it flow and ask yourself how can I cultivate goodness in me? What I am going to do? for my well-being and for other people.
If we go back to our brain and its 3 stages of evolution we have the following: 1st Reptilian Brain “Brainstem”; Focused primarily on SECURITY and represented by a lizard. 2nd Mammalian Subcortex: Amigdala; Focused on satisfaction and represented by a mouse 3rd Primate Human Neocortex; Focused on relationships, the connection.
We each have a type of lizard, mouse and inner monkey in our brain. We all have this structure inside and the need to:
Every day look for authentic opportunities to register enough security, satisfaction and connection. As Rick Hanson says: “If you do this every day, as a routine, you begin to feel yourself from the inside out.” Seek opportunities every day to pet the lizard, feed the mouse and hug the monkey.
The satisfaction can be found in some flowers, beauty, achieve goals that you set every day. The connection with hugs, connect with others! See a child who needs to connect!
How can you help your nervous system to change for the better? The essence is simple: When you have a positive, useful experience, you can make an inner reflection for example:
“Does it go better with my partner if I approach physically instead of walking away when we are having a difficult conversation? CHANGE A STATE IN A QUALITY:
what is satisfactory. Technically this increases Dopamine in your brain. When you focus on what is satisfactory, it consolidates. I love the antidote for disappointments and envy. Be happy for others. Basic practice of “heartfulness”.
If someone is worried about something, for him or for others, doing an gratitude exercise can help but does not really satisfy the need. What is the real need? If I were more present in my mind, would it really help me in those days? What would be a good quality to cultivate? What would help me with my work, my family…? When you discover it, do not go fast on the next page! look for opportunities during the day to experience some of this, a sense of this.
Or something that supports that antidote and that vitamin for what you really need inside you. When you discover it, focus on it!
The best antidote to envy is to be happy because others are happy. As the Dalai Lama says, “If you can be happy because others are happy, you will always be happy”
Experiment your feelings in a space of consciousness and accompany them to the exit door. I can search every day for small opportunities to experience something good and I will allow myself to let it in. I’m going to help it get into my system and sink. I am going to make the gift, to myself, of being intimately with the moment; the gift of letting it in and penetrating my system for two things: 1st Cultivate Happiness 2nd Inner strength
Thanks for sharing this space. If you know someone who has difficulty with negativity and wants to change it, send them this email. This information can really change their life.
If you want me to guide you through this inner journey join me in my online yoga & mindfulness classes
With deep love and appreciation, Itzíar
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